The Glass Can Always Be Full

John Ploetz

10 Oct, 2014

As we age it is only human nature to look back and review, critique our life and how we lived it; rating the quality of that life. Do we look at our life as full of met goals or as a string of unfinished works in progress. Do we think we have lived a life fraught with a number of missed opportunities or one long string of opportunities fulfilled. Our thoughts determine the grade we give ourselves. Following are some thoughts to keep us grounded.

1. Positive thoughts determine the positive trajectory of our lives at any point in our lives. We are what we think we are.

2. Am I fulfilling my dreams or am I dreaming about my life’s fulfillment. Really both should be occurring at same time. You should be in the process of fulfilling your dreams while continuing to dream about the next step in your life’s fulfillment.

3. We are the true embodiment of our own spirit. So many people look at their glass of life trying to decide if it is half empty or half full. Why can’t we look at it and say yes it is full.

4. No regrets. There are so many things that happen in a person’s life. Maybe it is best to say we have lived our lives to the fullest. That no changes could have been made, that would have produced a better outcome.

5. There’s no way to comprehend if we should have made changes in our lives. Any changes that we would have made throughout our lives would have changed the trajectory of our whole life. Maybe it would have gone in a different direction. The potentially different direction is impossible to quantify and know. We can’t and shouldn’t dwell on the “what ifs”.

6. We should cherish and relish in the “What We Dids” and the time still left to do the “What We Dream of Doing”. Life is too short to waste time in the negative morass of “not done” and “done differently”.

Why can’t we say we’ve lived our lives, and that we’ve lived them fully; that we’ve taken the opportunities as they arose and made decisions correctly based on the facts at hand. Everybody lives their lives the way they were meant to be, that’s what living a full life is all about. It’s time we give ourselves credit for living life correctly.

Do You Remember Me?

John Ploetz

2 Oct, 2014

There are certain people that we remember. They come to mind for good and bad reasons. What sets a person apart from the rest of the crowd? Why are certain people forgotten quickly after we meet them and others continue to stay in our mind? Be bigger than life and make sure people will remember you for the right reasons.

1. Always shake a person’s hand. Not enough people make a point to shake hands. Use a firm grip, but not overwhelming. Show the person you’re happy to see them.

2. Do things that people don’t expect. Try doing something that others won’t expect. Buy them a cup of coffee or a treat before you meet with them; have it ready when they arrive. Give them a plant or other small token for them to remember the meeting by.

3. Remember birthdays. People may not say they don’t care, but it’s always nice to be remembered on a birthday. Social media makes it easy to track people’s birthdays these days. Dropping people a quick e-mail is easy. Mailing them a card is even better.

4. Remember the last conversation you had with someone. Tie in the last conversation you had with the person. Show you remember them, that you were listening, and that you care about what was said.

5. Remember names. There’s nothing a person hates more than you getting their name wrong. If you’re not sure, ask their name, don’t guess. Doing this once is fine, but don’t forget the next time around.

6. Take time to ask about the person. Always ask “What’s new?” or “What is going on with you recently?”. Then take the time to listen.

7. Show you really care about someone. Focus on the person when they are talking. Make eye contact. Don’t get caught up in distractions. You should give your 100% undivided attention to the person you are talking “with” not “to”. Trust me they’ll know the difference if you’re not paying attention.

8. Be interested in the other person rather than yourself. Keep the conversation moving in the other person’s direction. Balance any conversation in favor of discussion about the other person. Make the person you are meeting with feel special. Treat each person as if they are the most important person you know. For the moment they are.

9. Tell an interesting story. The current daily news updates are always a good place to get material. Tell something light and funny if possible. A good story is a great meeting ice breaker. But make sure to keep your material fresh. Nobody likes to hear the same old story time and again.

10. Be positive. Everyone likes a positive person. Don’t focus on the problems you’re facing, but instead talk about the positive things going on in your life. Use a positive tone when talking about the person you’re with; give them a chance to mention recent accomplishments or experiences. Then, focus on those positive events going on in the other person’s life in your conversation.

It’s easy to be remembered by people. Just put a little energy and focus into it. Think about it, are you a person who you’d like to meet? Take the steps above and make sure you are.

Rituals Need Moderation and Understanding

John Ploetz

30 Sep, 2014

I previously discussed the importance of rituals in our lives. After thinking about it a little more I thought I should also touch on some concerns I have about rituals. There are some things that we need to think about so that rituals don’t rule our lives negatively. I’m not necessarily saying rituals are bad. I am saying we need to be aware of the impact rituals have on our lives.

1. Don’t let rituals stop us from trying new things. Rituals can cause us to become set in a particular way of doing things. We may no longer be able to look at new ways of doing things; ways that might help improve our lives or make them less stressful. Keep an open mind about letting go of rituals that impact our lives in an unhealthy way. Having a turkey on Thanksgiving may not create a problem for us. Continuing to invite thirty relatives over each Thanksgiving, knowing how stressful it will be, may not be the best for us.

2. Rituals can create complacency. Sometimes, we rely on rituals to take the place of our motivational energy. We carry on the rituals so we don’t need to think about what we are doing. We can become lethargic and begin to lack motivation focus in our activities.

3. We can forget why we do certain rituals. Over time we forget about the reasons behind certain rituals and no longer look at the true meanings of why we carry on rituals. We are now carrying on a task without a true purpose. Always keep the meaning behind the ritual present in our mind; stay mentally connected to our rituals.

4. What do rituals mean in our lives? We should continually ask ourselves how the use of certain rituals impact our lives with whether we are better off without them. Make sure to be aware of how specific rituals improve our lives and not how they detract from our quality of life.

5. Have we lost the connection of the ritual to our actions? We shouldn’t become automatons, no longer thinking through what we are actually doing. Don’t justify actions by calling them rituals. Bare actions may be just that, random unnecessary tasks that we try to elevate by thinking of them as rituals.

6. Rituals can adversely impact our emotional state. Sometimes we become tied to rituals that put us on an emotional roller coaster. Think about how certain rituals evoke certain emotions. Unpleasant emotions may be letting us know that it is time to let go of those rituals.

7. Rituals can make us compulsive. Are we packing our life with rituals to the exclusion of other healthy activities? Do they put limits on our quality of life by consuming our lives?

Like anything, rituals may work well for us in moderation as long as we understand which rituals we use and why. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to become slaves to ritualistic behavior.