Be Realistic for the New Year

John Ploetz

30 Dec, 2014

I published this blog last year, but I still think it is relevant as we head into the new year.

The New Year arrives and suddenly everything is supposed to be different. All your old problems, whether they are solved or not, and all those character shortcomings have been left behind with the start of the New Year. The holidays were perfect, harried get togethers with distant relatives and last minute gift shopping excluded. You’re starting with a clean slate. And this year you’ve made those 10 perfect resolutions so the year is guaranteed to run smoothly. But wait a minute, before you get to far along with those idealistic resolutions for the New Year you should really make some adjustments:

First, throw out those resolutions you’ve jotted down. Have you ever followed through with any of them for any year you can remember? Can you even find your old resolutions?
Stop kidding yourself about starting up your exercise routine five days a week because you’ve started up a membership at the local fitness club and want to lose a few holiday pounds. Fitness clubs make a large part of annual revenues in January due to the after holiday rush, come February it’s back to the same old crowd at the fitness club.
Don’t make sweeping resolutions that will make your life more stressful and set yourself up with unrealistic goals that can’t be met. You don’t need resolutions you won’t stick to like: I will not be late to any more meetings, I won’t procrastinate, and I will change my car oil every 5000 miles.

Instead make a shorter more general, more adaptable resolution list:

Stay positive. You decide how you approach what happens to you on a daily, weekly and monthly basis.
Look at what areas you are already happy with in your life and see if you can build on those. Are there hobbies that you enjoy doing, but haven’t found the time to do? Make time to do your yoga, cycling, cooking, or writing, if that’s what makes you happy and lowers your stress level.
Don’t try to make drastic changes overnight, start with small ones.
Set up to make one change a month for each month during the entire year. If you fall behind, no worries, just work on that change for an extra month.
Ask yourself – What do you really need to change? Change isn’t always necessary; consistency in how you live your life can be a better approach.
Don’t take on the hardest change first. Baby steps sometimes lead to big changes over time.
Rather than saying, “I can’t wait for this year to end”, say “I’m too busy living in this year for it to end”.

See, now instead of a list of rigid resolutions you have an outline to reuse every year. Remember, years aren’t measured by the number of days but by how you choose to fill each one of those days. Enjoy your new year.

I'm Speechless

John Ploetz

17 Dec, 2014

What if you couldn’t talk for a day. No sounds out of your mouth; no verbal interaction; no words to communicate. What if you decided not to say a word all day long. Could you do it? Could you still exchange ideas with others? How would you communicate with others? Would you be ignored altogether? Or would you arise to the occasion and figure out a way to interact to make your silent voice heard even though you couldn’t speak? Would you be driven to the brink of insanity, or would you find it challenging, a time to rethink how you interact and what is important when you interact with others?

1. A smile is worth a thousand words. Actually a picture is worth a thousand words. But if you don’t have a picture to show, a smile is the next best thing.

2. Hand gestures make a difference. Slow movements that are welcoming and open up to others are important. Don’t make quick or jerky hand gestures. Hand gestures should accent what is being said when you are talking again. Make some hand gestures in front of the mirror. See how they appear to you.

3. How do you stand move and carry yourself? Stand up straight, don’t slouch forward. You don’t need to be rigid. Just stand straight and move with purpose.

4. How do you sit? Are your legs crossed and are you slouched back in your chair? Or are both feet on the floor and back straight? Where are your hands, holding up your head, or are they on the table in front of you or folded on your lap?

5. How do you listen? Do you focus on the person’s mouth and eyes? Or do you draw your focus back from time to time to catch a person’s body movement to get their entire body language and message it provides?

6. How do you participate in a meeting? Do you stay attentive? Are you aware of all the people at the meeting? It is important to focus on the person who is talking. But, you need to take in the entire group at the meeting to understand how people are reacting to the meeting as it develops and to each speaker as they talk.

7. How do you focus? It shouldn’t be about you lost in thought. It should be about your perceptions of what is happening around you. When you aren’t the focal point, the one who is doing the talking, you have the ability to take in more of what is going on around you. Use that to your advantage and try to soak up everything going on around you: what is said, who is talking, and how people are interacting with one another.

Were you successful in not talking for a day? How did your perception of the world around you change when you weren’t talking? Will you deal with your world and those people in it differently from now on? As Mark Twain said, “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

Change Your Mood Control Your Life

John Ploetz

10 Dec, 2014

Some days we wake up in a bad mood. It could of been the dream we had that we just can’t quite remember or that late night snack that gave us a fitful rest. It’s those days that it’s easy to just settle into that bad mood for the rest of the day. If we do settle into that bad mood, can we really blame it on the events that occur in our life. Can we then take it a step further and say that consciously we have no control over our mood. No I think we do have a choice. Sure events that occur in your life can, if you let them, negatively impact you. But truthfully you are the one that sets the tone and ultimately decides your mood. Your mood and how you respond to events, isn’t set by others, it’s set by you. You control your destiny. You are the one who sets your own mood. So what steps should you take to positively manage your mood and control your life.

1. Pause to think before you react. Once you react to an event you start setting a specific mood in motion. Think about the event that just occurred. Don’t automatically respond at a gut emotional level. Decide from the beginning where your mental focus should go.

2. Limit your emotional investment in the event. Think about what emotions you draw forth from any event. Then decide how much time you are going to let those emotions keep you tied to that event. How much emotional impact are you going to allow an event to take up in your life?

3. Change your mental focus. Do something to take your mind off of whatever it is that is setting a negative mood. Don’t avoid reality but switch focus from thoughts that are creating a negative mood to positive thoughts.

4. Focus your mind positively. If you shift focus to positive thoughts you move your mind into a positive thought process. Steer clear of negative emotional energy that can quickly drain you. Worry, anxiety, and fear should be avoided. Focus on positive moods: happiness, tranquility, and serenity.

5. Take your mood head on. Don’t ignore your mood. Face it head on. Analyze what is making you have a bad mood. It may not be one thing. It might be a number of things. When you look at events that are the source of your mood, you can better understand the impact they are making in your life.

6. Don’t spiral, focus. Don’t allow your mood to sink in. Sure in the beginning it may take less energy to ignore the process and let a mood take hold. However in the long run a negative mood can really drain you of the very energy you may need to stay positive. Don’t let your mood take control of your life. Don’t ignore the direction you are headed. Take control of your mood direction as early as possible.

7. Figure out what’s controlling your mood. First figure out what is controlling your mood at the moment. Then look at what might be controlling your mood long term. There are many factors, so it might take time to unravel and ultimately figure out. Thinking about what controls your moods will help you better understand who you are and will create a deeper awareness of what triggers your mood swings.

Many factors play a part in setting your moods. But, only you can control your moods. Ultimately, you set your mood and you determine the direction your mood will take you. Think, focus, and understand the causes that create your moods so you can create a positive mood you want to live with.